


John Watson Doesn't Like Camping

by kyaticlikestea



Series: John Watson's Blog [5]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Camping, Crack, Humour, John Watson's Blog, John's blog, M/M, blog entry, pure unadulterated crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-20
Updated: 2012-05-20
Packaged: 2017-11-05 17:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/409002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyaticlikestea/pseuds/kyaticlikestea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'If anyone’s reading this – welcome to the blog, if you’re new! – a bit of help would be much appreciated; I’m sort of stuck in the middle of Wales with Sherlock, Mycroft and Lestrade. Sherlock burnt the only map we have for firewood and there’s no GPS signal around here. Why there’s internet signal but no GPS signal I do not know. I’m going to assume that it’s sod’s law and surrender to it. </p><p>If it helps anyone work out where we are, it’s definitely in the Brecon Beacons somewhere. I think it’s near that cannibal village from Torchwood, but as of yet we haven’t been eaten. </p><p>Help me, before the Holmeses drive me out of my bloody mind!!'</p><p>Or, in which Mycroft and Lestrade are single-handedly responsible for the increase in demand for eye bleach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Watson Doesn't Like Camping

**April 6th, 2015  
LOST**

If anyone’s reading this – welcome to the blog, if you’re new! – a bit of help would be much appreciated; I’m sort of stuck in the middle of Wales with Sherlock, Mycroft and Lestrade. Sherlock burnt the only map we have for firewood and there’s no GPS signal around here. Why there’s internet signal but no GPS signal I do not know. I’m going to assume that it’s sod’s law and surrender to it. 

If it helps anyone work out where we are, it’s definitely in the Brecon Beacons somewhere. I think it’s near that cannibal village from Torchwood, but as of yet we haven’t been eaten. 

Help me, before the Holmeses drive me out of my bloody mind!!

**70 comments**

Bloody hell mate, every time I check on here you’re having some new adventure!! No wonder you haven’t found the time to go to the pub with your oldest mate!! haha  
 **Bill Murray, April 6th, 20:34**

There’s really no ‘haha’ that can be applied to this situation, unless you’re referring to the pattern of Mycroft’s boxers.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 20:37**

The famous sherlock Holmes!!! Its so weird to talk to you directly lol why are you in the Brecon Beacons anyway??  
 **Bill Murray, April 6th, 20:39**

Or not  
 **Bill Murray, April 6th, 20:53**

Sorry, Bill. He’s in a strop because Greg – Lestrade, sorry – wouldn’t let him bring some bloated badger he found into the tent with us. He’ll get over it, or he’ll be sleeping outside. Anyway, we’re here because one of the Holmes brothers decided we all needed to learn to get along after Sherlock’s April Fool’s prank this year. Three guesses which Holmes brother it was! Hope you’re doing OK, mate – will definitely ring you about the pub soon!  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 21:15**

Please accept my most humble apologies for attempting to assist the four of us in our quest to survive until the next New Year. It seemed likely that, without immediate action, at least one of us would turn to murder before the end of June. At this rate, that may still be me.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 21:34**

Ive never seen Mycroft Holmes. Thats just occurred to me. Do you exist??  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 21:41**

No.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 21:44**

But really though, what if Lestrade is just making you up?? We wouldnt know!!  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 21:48**

This is Anderson by the way I have no idea why Sallys account is on here……must be a tech problem!!  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 21:51**

I am aware as to your identity. Ms Donovan is familiar with the concept of punctuation.  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 21:53**

He exists or you’re fired, Anderson. Now either help us work out where we are or go away!!!!!  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 21:59**

OK  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 22:01**

Youre near some mountain called Cribyn, am putting a link to a map of the area here for you, youre welcome boss link  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 22:07**

This is still Anderson helping by the way!!!!  
 **Anderson, April 6th, 22:09**

Thanks, Sally.  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:16**

Why not just fire me  
 **Anderson, April 6th, 22:20**

Now now, children. OK, thanks Anderson, we know where we are now! I’m going to sleep now and hope that my life is different in the morning. Night, everyone – and Bill, I’ve sent you a message about maybe meeting up with some of the rugby lads next week? Let me know!  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:29**

Dull.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:39**

Go to sleep!! I can hear you doing that weird thing with your toenails from here.  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:44**

jfahu45o]]]]]]]]  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

3y45y2o0ooooo  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

uiii #  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

3o6ti23uty3 cf3tpgyh  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

Dull, dull dull!  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:48**

jgepro88888888333333333333r  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

Oh, suddenly not dull.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:48**

loc3333333333341nxwjez\ \js  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:48**

Obscene. Interesting.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:49**

hjoi876v zz\  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:49**

Greg?  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:49**

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:49**

I don’t think he’s going to respond, John.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:49**

hgp5iooooooooooooqws  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 22:50**

jiiiiiiiiiiiq3o[xqskjh uhHUJ  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 22:50**

;iugiugtb ugcvbc  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:50**

We have to make this stop.  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:50**

I agree. Go and give them a shove!  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:51**

g7yyggyyftfftk  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 22:51**

I’m not bloody going! He’s your brother!  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:51**

Precisely; I don’t want to see his crown jewels, John.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:51**

ftyggggggggggggggggggggg  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:51**

Oh, because I do?  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:52**

vjhvjhnfwquh3tuh4ujg  
 **Mycroft Holmes, April 6th, 22:252/b >**

;wyjklejslrt  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:52**

John!!  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:52**

FINE. Christ on a bloody bike with bells on, you owe me for this.  
 **John Watson, April 6th, 22:52**

…j  
 **Lestrade, April 6th, 22:52**

John?  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:57**

John?!!  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 22:59**

I am assuming the worst.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 23:01**

That’s that you’ve been seduced by my brother, by the way. Not that you’re dead.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 6th, 23:05**

I am on tenterhooks here.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 23:18**

im so confused :( :( :(  
 **Harry, April 6th, 23:27**

I would like to start this ceremony with a short reading. John Watson was a great man who put up with so much, yet received so little in return…  
 **Sally Donovan, April 6th, 23:34**

He was really nice! :D xx  
 **Molly Hooper, April 6th, 23:39**

I always liked him. Except for the time he accidentally tripped me on the rugby field and I broke my nose.  
 **Mike Stamford, April 6th, 23:41**

He was nice when he bloody replied lol  
 **Bill Murray, April 6th, 23:54**

guys i actually am starting to get a bit worried now they are in the middle of nowhere near a cannibal village what if theyve been eaten?? OR KILLED??  
 **Harry, April 7th, 00:08**

God forbid.  
 **Sally Donovan, April 7th, 00:10**

Bloody hell, guys. This is a bit unexpected. Two foxes had run off with Mycroft and Lestrade’s phones, and we were led on a merry bloody chase trying to catch the buggers. We were ultimately unsuccessful, of course, so Sherlock is trying to track animal prints, Mycroft is meditating and Greg is pretending not to smoke a few feet away. It’s all a bit Blair Witch, to be honest. We’re all fine!!  
 **John Watson, April 7th, 00:31**

joy  
 **theimprobableone, April 7th, 00:37**

john i was so worried :(  
 **Harry, April 7th, 00:39**

john?  
 **Harry, April 7th, 01:34**

not again!! :(  
 **Harry, April 7th, 03:56**

Mycroft, if you even think of suggesting camping as a viable solution to inter-personal problems again, I will kill you.  
 **Sherlock Holmes, April 7th, 09:43**

Me too.  
 **John Watson, April 7th, 10:01**

And me  
 **Lestrade, April 7th, 10:06**

oho no iwnt  
 **Lestrade, April 7th, 10:06**

Bloody foxes.  
 **Anthea?, April 7th, 10:08**


End file.
